What does it mean to step out of survival mode?

In order to be Black and Thriving, we need to first consider what it means to move away from living out of necessity.

I wondered how you define what survival mode is?

For me, survival mode was being head-down focused and taking the good with the bad. Some years that meant financial sacrifice, other times it was mental and emotional sacrifice, whether it was not attending a family function or not being able to afford going out with friends in order to buckle down and stay the course towards the vision. 

Survival mode was something I didn’t know I was in, until I reached that transition point and I looked back. It’s so common amongst creators when you’re following a passion that sometimes you take all the bad that comes with being able to be passionate with your work.

It’s this idea of doing what you have to do, before you can do what you want to do. 

What has stepping out of that survival mode been like for you?

First and foremost, it’s a perspective change. It took years of freelancing to be able to afford more pay. 

Now I could stop and think—what the hell do I want to do? What is the purpose and meaning of the work I’m doing? When I was thinking about those things, hence the launch of the agency, I had to stop and personally reflect, to recognize how much of a privilege that was. 

The notion of it being a privilege also comes with difficulties because even though it’s a privilege, it’s still something that you deserve. 

That’s how I coined the term Black and Thriving—that was a concept borne of an RFP that we did as an agency when we were very new. This year, everyone’s talking about living a soft life—what I’m recognizing, coming out of the pandemic, is that we are all deserving of purpose. We shouldn’t have to do things just for money, or survival.

Do you feel like there’s anything that you’ve lost as a result of stepping out of survival mode? 

I have a fear of losing some grit—the hustle. I’ve been that person for so long. I just wonder—when you achieve all the things, do you suddenly now feel like—oh, I’ve achieved it all? That is a bit of a fear, like, I wonder what happens on the other side.

Do you feel like this is a permanent change? Will there be points where people step into survival mode or dance between the two?

I don’t know what my therapist is going to say about this, but I actually think it’s a mindset now that I’m in my privilege—I don’t think I could have thought that a couple of years ago. There are fundamental things everyone needs in life—once this fundamental level is reached, then you can start to shift your perspective. I’m not going to be delusional and say even poor people or struggling folk should just change their perspective—that’s not real. 

I think once you’ve reached this baseline, you can afford to start to change the narrative for yourself and habitually pull yourself out of the way that you used to see things, to just open your mind to a different perspective, and it’s freaking hard. Learning how to be grateful, how to extend yourself some grace and navigate new territories and uncharted waters. That’s part of the personal growth.

If you were designing your own hierarchy of needs, what would it look like?

I think community is probably the most important thing. And it’s not always obvious. When I tracked back to some of the things I’ve gone through, even in my brokest hour, what did I do? I picked up the phone and called a friend. Yes, we need food, but I can call a friend and see if they have food. I remember growing up, we had an open door policy in our house. We were fortunate enough to always have food every day, and family friends would just drop by and we’d eat out of the pot and share with each other.

Community is a game-changer. Even when you come into better financial situations, you can’t have fun at the top alone. You call your people.

What advice do you have for anyone who thinks that they are, or could  be, or want to step out of survival mode?

Something I’m still learning to take my own advice about is celebrating small and big wins. You can set a major goal for yourself and feel like okay, there are ten steps for me to get to this goal and hustle for years on end until you achieve that one big thing, finally celebrate it, and in that moment already be thinking about the next thing. If there are ten steps to get to one goal, celebrate every single one, because without one of them, you wouldn’t be able to get there. You’ve put so much time, energy, focus, all that you’ve sacrificed so much to achieve—even if it’s just step five, how do you take a moment to own that?

It’s so much about perspective, and how perspective expands, contracts, changes and transforms. What have you gained from this shift?

What I’ve gained is a deeper sense of self. It’s like, when you go to college and have a really close best friend because you went through some shit together. With entrepreneurship, you’re going through some shit with yourself, there’s a deepening sense of who am I, why am I here, what am I doing, what is this for? You’re asking yourself these things everyday subconsciously, in order to make decisions based off your values. If you hadn’t previously determined what your values were, I’m pretty sure at the end of that journey, you now know who the hell you are.

I’ve always considered myself pretty self-aware, but this deep, enriched learning and growing with yourself is very different. I didn’t know I could learn myself as much as I have.

We’ll see you later @WeAreApt122